The Big Break Up!

I’m breaking up with my past.  It has held me captive long enough. I’m going through a metamorphosis of sorts in my life, so I’m always in my own head.  Thinking, worrying, dissecting, and criticizing.  It’s what I do…I was talking with a friend recently who pointed out to me that what I may consider a physical flaw, may be beautiful to someone else.  And that gave me pause.  I have heard millions of times that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” my sarcastic reply is almost always, “then you need your eyes checked!”

It was at that moment that I realized that I have been holding on to the “old me”—the “me” who was younger and more attractive.  The postpartum me, who suffered with a dysfunctional thyroid couldn’t possibly be considered beautiful, she had hormonally induced acne, unexplained weight gain, and she was tired all of the time and had a bad attitude.  Her? Pretty?  Never! J  You see, until recent months my thyroid issues went misdiagnosed for years.  And for that reason I was always tired, cranky, and a host of other adjectives I’ll let my loved ones _____________ (insert here). 

What, you may be asking; does that have to do with breaking up with my past?  Friend, I’m glad you asked.  Some times as we grow older, we yearn for days gone by, when we were young, beautiful, unattached and unencumbered.  A hormonal imbalance during my second pregnancy is what caused the thyroid to malfunction at such a rapid rate. And I wasn’t ready to be turned into the old grouch that I had become.  But it was during those times of unanswered medical questions, sick and painful days that I learned to pray…and I pray I did.  I prayed that just one person in my life would walk through this with me; I prayed that God would help me to have patience with my small children and I prayed for a proper diagnosis or healing which ever came first.  It was during those times that I learned the art of intercession.

My younger-self couldn’t have cared less about prayer and fasting.  The me I am today is who God has designed me to be, and although my past has been a stepping stone for the current place on which I stand, it’s time for me to take the next step. Forgetting those things which are behind me…I press. While I want to learn from my past—mistakes, flaws and all, I don’t long to be that person anymore.  And while I may still struggle with some of the scars, flaws and imperfections that were brought on by life, I recognize now, that I am the very righteousness of Christ and when the Father looks at me, He only sees the reflection of His Son. 

Paul said it like this:  “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which come from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2Corinthians 3:18 NIV). Reflecting the Lord’s glory!  I can’t think of any other beauty treatment that will make a woman truly beautiful.

Let’s Pray

Dear Father in Heaven, I realize that as I continue to grow in You, I am being transformed to be more like You.  Therefore, I’m breaking up with my past and I’m leaving it behind me.  Not to forget it but rather to use it as a “teachable moment” for others.  Help me to continue to press toward the mark that You have called me to.  Take away whatever needs to be taken away to reveal the beauty of You that is in my heart.  Help me to be spiritually beautiful today and always.

In Jesus’ Name…Amen.